At Church on Sunday Feb 15/08 Part C

The second reading this week from the New Testament was The Gospel Mark 1:40-45, the earliest gospel. Mark likes to talk about healings, evil spirits, demonology and divorce. In the passage we read today he describes Jesus healing a leper. The thing that struck me about this passage was the faith that the leper had in Jesus. He says "If you choose, you can make me clean". He doesn't say if you want, or please make me clean. He gives that choice of whether or not he can be healed over to Jesus.

Then I got to thinking. I have stuff going on in my life that is a timing issue. I have to get payments in on time and I afraid that if I'm late I'll have problems. And I've been praying " please God let this happen on this day and on this time".

When I heard those words from the leper, "Jesus you choose". I thought for a moment. What am I asking? What am I doing? Why am I frantic? Why do I worry? Yes I believe like the leper that all can be erased in a moment and it's no big secret what I wanted. But, I was not factoring in the wisdom of God. There is nothing that God has ever done in my life that was not perfectly timed for lessons to be learned. This timing thing that was bothering me was just me living in my material world- selfishly.

So I changed my prayer and said. "God, whenever you're ready I trust your timing this is your choice and only my material desire. I'm sorry I bugged out". Immediately, I felt better I felt all that worry and anxiety lifted and I hope it lasts. I have tendency to vacillate.

However, in all fairness I have found in my brief experience with God that when it comes to the timing of the things in my life I can only see as far as my hand. It's God I must trust to see the bigger picture and guide me- that's the key for me, trust issues.

How do you pray when you ask something of God?

At Church on Sunday Feb 15/09 Part B

The six o'clock service is a bit shorter but we still read two passages. Tonight we read from 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 in the New Testament. The apostle Paul ( one of Jesus' followers) is the author of this section which are essentially letters that he wrote to the Corinthians a people who lived in Corinth. a thriving city a dominant commercial center ( like New York) as early as the 8th Century B.C. Paul was concerned about the problems that the church was having here and wrote these letters to help sort things out.

In Corinthians 9:24-27, as Andrew Mullins pointed out to me Paul draws a parallel between the preparations that a professional athlete must endure, both physically and mentally to secure a "material prize" and the spiritual preparations required to secure one's faith. I love the part that says ,"So I do not run aimlessly, not do I box as though bearing the air; but I punish my body and enslave it, so that after proclaiming to other I myself should not be disqualified".

Paul is talking about the self discipline that is required as part of one's faith and that really struck me. I didn't just knell and pray and attend services. I joined bible class, I applied myself, I thought about the relationship I wanted with God and I think I'll forever continue to do so. Faith for me was something I had to work at and I think this is what Paul is getting at. Believing is one thing but being an active participant in faith is quite another.

How can you participate in your faith this week?

At Church on Sunday Feb, 15/09 Part A

This Sunday I went to the six o'clock service at my church the Church of the Epiphany on 74th and York in Manhattan. I said it before and I'll say it again this is a SPECIAL place it's a place where I find God and a place where the prayer and service confirm and reaffirm my belief in God. As they say in business you can tell a company head from the receptionist. If she's great the boss will be great. These things trickle down from the top and it's no surprise that the Reverend Andrew Mullins has built an awesome ministry.

Since my priest Jennifer Linman is as big an a house awaiting the birth of her firstborn ( she usually hosts the six o'clock ) I was privileged to have Reverend Mullins take charge. There was also a guest priest in training George Baum present.

It's a small service usually five to ten people but it really packs a punch. And this way I don't feel so back if I miss the formal eleven o'clock.

Week 5, Required Reading.

This week I'll be reading Genesis 4, the story of Cain and Able. We've got jealously, murder, intrigue, and banishment all the ugly things that God DID NOT create in Genesis 1. It seems that man, living in the material world void of spirit created these earthy errors.

Read on and see what you think.

Punishing Adam

Adam gets the dog here. Poor Adam. God curses the ground so that Adam will have to toil and till the rest of his life. Not only that but God says that the land will produce "thistles and thorns" which will really make it a pain in the ass to get anything out of it. And here comes the big line I've heard at every funeral I've ever attended , "for dust you are and dust you shall return"3:19.

When I look at all the incredible productive and fruitful farms in the land you can't help but admirer humanities ingenuity at overcoming this dreadful curse. Where there's a will there's a way.



So Eve gets a husband as punishment and Adam shall toil a thorny land just to eat. Not only that when he dies he'll return to dust. God says nothing about what happens to Eve when she dies. What do you think?



In the end Adam finally names his wife Eve, and God takes the time to cloth them like a loving father. For all you fashionistas out there it appears that God had sense of fashion. Maybe you're on to something.



Finally, the thought for the day....God delighted in us and therefore he saved us. How have you delighted God today?

Genesis 3 Punishing Eve

After he's finished with the serpent God punishes Eve. He gives her two punishments. First he commands that she will have pains in childbirth. I guess he forgot to mention the invention of the epidermal. I've talked to a lot of woman who have given birth and sometimes it's painful, sometime you get a caesarian and sometimes it no big sweat. So this punishment was really a pseudo punishment.



The second punishment is much more fun. God says that "You' desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you."3:16. Ok, so I have to desire my husband. There wasn't any other man in the garden. Who else could Eve possibly desire? And isn't that why we woman get married in the first place? To desire and rule over generic man?



The significant thing here is that for the first time God calls Adam a husband. Adam finally goes from generic man to husband. He still doesn't have a real name and you think a guy who named every living creature would be quite apt at naming would find a name for himself, but no, now Adam's just a husband.



Does that mean he wasn't a husband before? So Eve was Eve and a wife before eating the fruit and Adam just became a husband after he partook. Finally as punishment we have a husband and wife. Is that not a punishment for both Adam and Eve. How many of you married folks have sometimes thought that your marriage was the greatest self-inflicted punishment of all? So marriage therefor is one of God's punishments. Which by the way, makes a strong case for homosexulaity.



Then God adds injury to insult and says. "he (Eve's new husband Adam), will rule over you" 3: 16. Well, in all fairness to God there is no way he actually believed that the woman who had the balls to eat the fruit in the first place was going to let generic Adam rule over her. It wasn't in her nature when God created her and it would not be in her nature after she left the garden. I think God knew full one this was a blanketed threat.

Thoughts?

Week 4 Why the Serpent?

Genesis 3.

God strolling in the garden in some organic form can't find his children. The naughty ones are hiding and in this communication with God it is the first time that God and man actually have a dialogue. No longer is God just a commanding voice, he's like a person and he's looking for his kids. Without the GPS system he can't find them.

When he finds them, like a intuitive parent he know something is up and he gruels them on what happened. First he asks Adam who gallantly blames his "wife". Then he asks Eve who passes it on to the serpent.

The serpent, by the way is a fascinating character. It seems that before the fruit was eaten we were able to communicate with the animals- like Dr. Doolittle. The serpent however has taken an interest in us unlike any other creature. And don't forget Adam was in charge of naming all the animals and he names this one the "serpent" And like a father defending the actions of his children God only directly curses the serpent. But what a punishment? God says " You will crawl on you belly and eat dust." As far as I see it the serpent already crawls on its belly so what's the big deal? The big deal is that this poor creature of God is fated to be a symbol of danger, and evil to man.

I can't figure out why God would take a creature he has created and want it to be reviled and hated my all of mankind, the symbol of man's downfall. Why didn't he pick the cat, the dog the monkey or elephant? I'm at a loss here. Maybe you have some ideas? Why the serpent?

Week 4 the Punishment?

In Genesis three God continues to communicate with man as a voice, which commands. It's not till after Eve passed the fruit to Adam that God is portrayed in human form. He's actually strolling around the garden and then" the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden on the cool of the day."


Ladies please note that only after Adam eats the fruit and before she gets he name Eve she is referred to as his wife. I don't know who was in the garden to actually sanctify this marriage but I find it interesting that Eve goes from being called woman, to wife to Eve. Adam on the other hand is still generic Adam. Even at these early stages woman is becoming a far more complex being having many roles and names.

Week 4 Genesis 2

In lines 2:21 God performs an operation. He puts Adam to sleep and takes a rib out of him to make woman. Two things I think are important here. This is the first instance where God takes a human form in our imagination. A human form that descends upon Adam and actually performs surgery. We will see this when a guy named Jacob actually wrestles with God, in the Old Testament and again surprisingly when God impregnates Mary in the New Testament. So in very rare cases God communicated with man by actually assuming some kind of organic form and changing the physiology of man or woman.

The second fact is that Adam ( which means man) and woman are still not individuals they do not have names. It is only after Eve, takes the fruit and her punishment that Adam names his wife Eve. Eve in the first person in the bible to receive a name as a individual unto her own. Adam stays generic. Eve gets named. Again woman rule.

Class 4 Genesis 2

In Genesis 2 God created man from the dust and then breaths life into him. So I can't argue here man was created first. Then God tells this unnamed man Adam that he's not to touch the tree of Knowledge. So I guess Adam wondered around the garden for awhile. God kept him busy naming all the plants and the animals which would have taken forever. I can only imagine what it was like for Adam to wake up every morning and have a line of animals in front of him a line extending for miles and miles and naming them one after another. And when he was done with that he would have had to name all the plants and the trees and the flowers.

So it has occurred to me that there was a big time lapse between God telling Adam not to eat the Fruit having him name everything on earth and then deciding he was lonely without a mate. It's no big stretch to suggest that the command was a distant whisper by the time he got finished naming the animals and the severity of the command must have diminished. So when he finally told Eve it might have been just an aside.

Class 4, How God Communicated G1

I think it's very significant to note that God in early Genesis 1-3 communicates to man in ways that turn a couple of our ideas upside down. It has always amazed me that some people believe that God only communicated throught the male of our species. Genesis 1, puts the case forward that God not only created man and woman equally but spoke to them for the first time together.
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them". 1:27. That's God created man and woman equal right from the start.

He blesses them both and tells them to mulitply and rule over the earth. Now, how has that worked out for us? Well, we've mulitplied all right but the earth? We are not tending it as God commanded us, species go extinct, rainforests get chopped down, the water polluted. There is ceetaintly room for improvement on this count and I think we've been seeing that in last century. I remember a time when I'd go on a care drive and everyone would throw our garbage out the window onto the highway with no thought, no care: elephants we're being killed for their tusks and gorillas to make ashtrays from their hands. We've come a long way baby.

To all the vegitarioans out there just site Geneis 1, where God tells Adam and Eve what to eat, " I give every green plant for food". 1-30. God says nothing about eating meat.

So in Genesis 1, one could argue that woman should be allowed to be priests and the vegetarians have it right.

Class 4 Eve my Hero

After reading and re-reading Genesis 3, it has come to my attention that there have never been a title so inappropriate. Instead of the Fall why not the Rise, or The Beginning. Imagine what we'd all be like if we were still living in The Garden. naked, running all over breeding, and immortal? What kind of existence would this be? I think God would have been ultimately bored with us. And what would we be but uni-dimensional creatures, nothing more than an amoeba existing just to exist. No struggle no thought, no consciousness.

It is my opinion that Eve did us all a big favor. That girl is my hero. Yes, my hero.

And you know I have a suspicion that God figured this out as well. It was no mistake he left a big yummy fruit tree right smack in the middle of a Garden where Adam and Eve lived. It was no mistake that he told only Adam, yes only Adam that if he ate the fruit he would die.

The concept of death would have meant nothing to Adam at the time. The idea of Death was no big threat to Adam or Eve. Further, was Adam's job to tell Eve about God's command. She got the news over lunch. "Hey babe don't eat the fruit on that really yummy tree you'll die, now come over here and multiply".

Sin, as Mary Baker Eddy put it "has elements of self" destruction". There was no conscious idea of self destruction in the make- up of Adam and Eve as they existed in the Garden. So where's the sin here? If there is no sin in what Eve did by eating that yummy fruit, then the Christian idea of original sin (that we are predisposed due to our nature which God created makes us all sinners from the first cell division in the womb) makes little sense.

I am reminded of a quote from the psalm 17:20 " He brought me out into an open place. he rescued me because he delighted in me". The idea that God delights in me, in you, in us makes me feel like I am participating in a dance ,a journey with God, that somehow I am good enough to find favour in God's eyes has helped me to overcome the self-destructive elements in my own life. It has helped me overcome the hatred and disdain that my own family carries for me and if I can delight God then the opinion of others started to matter less and less. I came to the conclusion a while back that I wanted to continue to delight God so I took a look at the things in my life that were NOT delightful. I made a list and have managed over time to cross them out one after another.

I think Eve, in the end delighted God. She challenged him, pissed him off but caught his interest and curiously and wonder in his own creation. That's why God clothed both Adam and Eve with the compassion and love of a Father tending over his children, struggling with the fact that he may not be able to protected them from the outside world but vowing to love and to guide them forever.

Bravo Eve the mother of all!

Bible Class 4

The required reading for this week is Genesis 2-4B- 3:24. If any of you were like me when I started. The first number 2, for example starts the section of the reading and is the large number in the left hand margin of your Bible. The second number is the number of the line which is printed in tiny numbers on the page within the chapter.

This is the story called the "Fall", which I happen to think was not a "Fall" at all but a significant rise in the consciousness of mankind.

I find the NIV study bible is terrific and I purchased mine at Barnes and Nobles.

Bible Class Week 3/4

The final thing I want to mention about Genesis 1, is that while I was reading it occurred to me that God was creating. Yes, God was creating stuff he'd never seen before. Out of an idea God thought the world in existence. Imagine creating water when water never existed. Imagine, thinking about all the plants and the animals and thinking them into existence one by one.

I think that when God throughr the dinosaurs into existence he concluded it was a mistake. The world he created was not the world he wanted to create and so it was destroyed. I can't imagine that the dinosaurs kept god engaged with his creation.

This would mean that there is a learning principle that I feel is at work with God. Could God be learning about this world through us? Could we be God's eyes and ears? Yes. I believe God is learning with us. Where does that leave us? Well that means that we have a responsibility yes a responsibility to live the best lives that we can so that God can experience his goodness.

When I create error in my life what an I teaching God? I'm teaching god about error and this is something that I think about every time I make decisions in my life. I ask myself what am I teaching God here.

What do you teach God?

Bible Class Week 3/3

The really big thing about Genesis 1 is that while God created everything. He DID NOT create darkness, death, sin, sickness or evil. This begs the question, who created all that bad stuff? Well, I'm not a big believer in the Devil. I think that the Devil is a metaphor for the matter that we humans choose to live in. Matter without spirit leads to all that bad stuff.

In my life I've decided to identify the bad stuff. The bad stuff is drinking. Every time I take a drink I create an error. That error leads to another error and another error. In all the time I've taken a drink to my lips it has never, never once been just one drink. After years of experimenting with this "truth" I have concluded that error leads to error. It can't be negotiated and it can't be corrected after the fact. I finally asked myself why are your following error when you have a choice? Am I that foolhardy that I can't identify an error, respect it as an error and choose not to engage that error?

What error can you identify in your life and where did error lead you?

Bible Class Week 3

So it seems in Genesis 1, that God created everything. Not many Gods... ONE GOD. That's the big point here. Written in a time where people were worshipping everything but the kitchen sink as a God, the idea that only one God existed was radical and disturbing- especially if you've been worshipping Gods and Goddesses for a lifetime.

The other thing you need to know about this section is that the idea of God vacillates between two schools of thought. Transcendence refers to the separateness of God in God's creation and immanence which refers to Gods nearness. Genesis one is an example of God's transcendence as God makes the world around him just by speaking it out loud. On the flip side, in Genesis 2 (which we will get to soon) God forms man out of clay and the act of taking part physically in man's creation becomes an example of God's immanence.

Out of this idea of the immanence of God comes a form of religions called Pantheism a term which means literally "all" is God. You'll find this belief explored in great detail in Christian Science and the writings of Mary Baker Eddy.

From the idea of transcendence we have a belief created called deism. Deism pictures God as a clockmaker who designed the universe and simply stands back lets it run on it's own.

I have come to believe that God is all. So I fit in the Pantheism category. I believe that the spirit which lives in everyone is from God and cannot be anything but good. I also believe that the matter in which we exist can be corrupted when we cease to listen to the spirit.

There was a time in my life when I didn't even know that the spirit existed and so how could I possibly listen, hear, or learn? I was communicating my entire life in the mire of my matter and what did I attract? Not people of spirit but other people, other people living in their own matter as well. Where did that lead me? It lead me to drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, anger.

When the spirit found me it took time. I did not heal all in one moment. Yes my belief came in one moment and this was accompanied by a great physical reaction a flooding with love. That's how I knew it was non negotiable. But for the first year or two that feeling would come and go flood in me and disappear and I would be back stuck in my matter. I felt like God's personal ping pong ball. I got frustrated I got angry. It was not till I applied myself through study of the bible asked questions of my priest Jennifer Linman, took chances, opened my mouth, committed to a church, attended services and courses that my connection to God god stronger and more consistent.

I guess having a relationship to God is just like having one with anyone else. I ignored God for many years and so we were both new to one another when he finally found me. Our love took time to grow and is still growing. And like all love it takes a concerted effort from both parties.

How would you describe your relationship with God?

Bible Class Week 3

This week the required reading is Genesis 1-2:4a. That's right we're starting from the beginning. I don't know if any of you know this but the scholars have decided that there are four sources, or particular points of view that are written in the OT. These are divided up by the capital letters J, E, D, and P. Both J and E use human characteristics to describe God. Think of anger, compassion, and thinking. And they also deal with God's use of natural phenomena. Think of plagues, storms, and floods. Apparently, it can be a little difficult to separate them and I wouldn't worry about it too much but it's good to know. J is interested in stories of how a place got it's name and how certain customs came about.

The D "writer" teaches a special theology of history( which I haven't learned about yet) and P contains long genealogies and instruction for worship. P is also big on miracles.
What you need to know is that P author has written what the section we're supposed to read.
So get reading and check back tomorrow. I'll have some really neat observations to report. And... I want to hear yours.

Church on Sunday Feb 25/09

As you may or may not know I attend the church of the Epiphany on 74th and York Av. This is the church where I was baptized and confirmed and where I have met the most incredible people around. What follows is my take on the Sunday service.
I'd like to start with hymn 539 "O Zion haste". I strongly recommend it due to the fact that the chorus or refrain is bomb.
Publish glad tidings, tidings of peace, tiding of Jesus redemption and release."
It's the word publish that really gets me.. being a writer and all.

This Sunday we read from the old Testament, Jonah 3:15. And in OT form God speaks directly to Jonah- for the second time. Why can't God speak to me like that directly clearly unmistakable sadly I have no such luck. In the story, God is apparently ready to annihilate the city of Nineveh due to the populations sinning ways. However after Jonah tells them of their fate, they repent by fasting and wearing sack cloth and God changes his mind.

It's funny but the OT God that I've heard is such a harsh disciplinarian can apparently have a change of heart. This is good thing for me. Being a person of no faith for so many years. I take heart that God can find favour with me as I find favour with him. I'm not convinced it was the sack cloth that did it but instead the idea of sincere change.

Next, we heard a reading from the Gospel of Mark 1:14-20 which is read by Jennifer. In this part of the gospel Jesus finds two fisherman Andrew and Simon ( later known as Peter) and tells them to drop everything, abandon their family business of fishing, leave their wives and children and come and follow him. Without blinking an eye they do just that.

This theme of being able to change sets the tone for the sermon delivered by Andrew. He speaks of a calling. What would I do if Jesus called me? Could I drop everything? Would I even consider the option? What have I done? I've been resisting "a calling" all of my life but at the same time hoping I'd just get up one day and there it would be my calling the career made just especially for me all laid out on a silver platter. One day I'd live with no calling and a split second later I'd have a calling. Was there something wrong with me? Why couldn't I say I've had that experience.

I used to get jealous of my husband who is an artist , who was an artist since I met him and will be an artist till the day he dies. I'd ask myself how come some people know their calling and act on their calling and I can't seen to see the horizon through the trees?

Then Andrew said something quite interesting. He said once you get a calling you've got to train it, and accomplish it. And then I saw it was my error in understanding a "calling" that was the problem. A calling is not just something that hits you over the head, changes your life for the better and lets you exist in a perpetual state of happiness, In my case I indeed had a calling a calling to be a writer, and it was up to me to write, to learn to grow with that calling- to take an active role with my calling and make it part of me accepting it like a marriage the good and the bad.

We all have a calling and a calling I believe comes from God. How was I supposed to hear it without faith in my life. What was there to hear? It was not till I engaged in faith that I was able to listen to what was always there- always set before me.

The Old Testament

I'm really reading ahead of my class as they all announced to me last week, but I can't help it. This stuff inspires me. I especially like the way that God talks to people. God and Abraham have these direct very intense conversations. In fact God not only speaks to Abraham he appears to him physically, Genesis 18:01, "The Lord appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre."
God appears here in physical form accompanied by two angels. All three are in human form as they reveal themselves to Abraham. In fact Abraham runs to feed them preparing curds and milk and calf meat. And believe it or not, but God and his two angels actually sit and eat with Abraham.

It feels to me like these OT humans are being followed by God as if the earth is somehow God's own stage for the human soap opera. He tunes in everyday, lets his presence be known, lets people know if they've please him or displeased them and exercises a reward or punishment as he sees fit.

I've also noticed a change in the way God communicates with man. He speaks directly with Abraham and his son Isaac yet Isaac's son Jacob talks to God only in dreams. This is an example of God moving from direct communication with man, to communication with man in a dream state.

I think it's also, significant that God speak to woman as easily as he does man. However,
in the Abraham story he does not speak directly, he does not speak through a dream but he uses and angel to speak to Hagar about the son she will have, the son fathered by Abraham. Genesis 16:11. In this instance, God uses angels to facilitate communicate with woman making woman and man equal in the eyes of God and both worthy of some form of communication.

This made me think that maybe God was trying to find the best way to communicate with his creations and maybe he figured that direct communication was not a good idea so he moved on to dreams.

There is however one very odd scene in Genesis 32:22 where Jacob actually physically wrestles with God and comes out of it with damage to his hip socket. I have not come across any incident where God takes on a physical form and interacts with a human unless you consider the pregnancy of Mary as instance where God interacts on a physical level.

Is the case with Jacob an example of God testing his communication methods with man? If so it was terribly unsuccessful and painful for man. I do not believe this type of communication is ever attempted again until the pregnancy of Mary.

So so far in the OT God is a very pro active communicator who does not let sex dictate who he communicates with. God talks to man as equally as he talks to woman. So where did we get this idea that the male figure in religious organizations somehow gets the upper hand in communication with God?

My EfM Class

I've started taking an EfM class to further my interested in bible studies. EfM stands for Episcopalian for Ministry. No, I did not sign up to become a minster but my priest Jennifer Linman suggested it to me so I thought it would be a good idea. To tell you the truth I'm not comfortable with the people in my group but that's what groups are about. Anyone who has taken group therapy knows that shit will happen. I'm here really to study the bible and I try to focus on that.

My four year course starts with the Old Testament which I prefer because it makes me feel more human. The new Testament makes me feel like I have to aspire to the person that I want to be.

The characters in the OT especially the women I can identify with. They do stuff. Did you know that Abraham gave his wife Sarah to the Pharaoh who she lived and slept with for many years? All true. When the Pharaoh found out and asked why Abraham doesn't answer. In fact the Pharaoh send him away with all kinds of sheep, and goats and makes him rich. Ironically God punishes the Pharaoh who was really a victim of Abraham's wife swapping trick

On top of it all Abraham gets rich for lending his beautiful wife out for hire. And it's no big deal God doesn't seem to mind.