The second reading this week from the New Testament was The Gospel Mark 1:40-45, the earliest gospel. Mark likes to talk about healings, evil spirits, demonology and divorce. In the passage we read today he describes Jesus healing a leper. The thing that struck me about this passage was the faith that the leper had in Jesus. He says "If you choose, you can make me clean". He doesn't say if you want, or please make me clean. He gives that choice of whether or not he can be healed over to Jesus.
Then I got to thinking. I have stuff going on in my life that is a timing issue. I have to get payments in on time and I afraid that if I'm late I'll have problems. And I've been praying " please God let this happen on this day and on this time".
When I heard those words from the leper, "Jesus you choose". I thought for a moment. What am I asking? What am I doing? Why am I frantic? Why do I worry? Yes I believe like the leper that all can be erased in a moment and it's no big secret what I wanted. But, I was not factoring in the wisdom of God. There is nothing that God has ever done in my life that was not perfectly timed for lessons to be learned. This timing thing that was bothering me was just me living in my material world- selfishly.
So I changed my prayer and said. "God, whenever you're ready I trust your timing this is your choice and only my material desire. I'm sorry I bugged out". Immediately, I felt better I felt all that worry and anxiety lifted and I hope it lasts. I have tendency to vacillate.
However, in all fairness I have found in my brief experience with God that when it comes to the timing of the things in my life I can only see as far as my hand. It's God I must trust to see the bigger picture and guide me- that's the key for me, trust issues.
How do you pray when you ask something of God?
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