Honour thy Father and thy Mother

This is probably one of the most difficult commandments for me. How can you honour someone or anyone for that matter who doesn't love nor want you? How can you honour someone who hurt you or beat you or tortured you? I'm sure many of us have pain associated with our parents, maybe even resentment, or even pure hatred.

So the question becomes... how to do honour these people? I believe that we have difficulty with this commandment because of the concept of time. I don't think God meant you have to honour them this very minute. I think he meant you to honour them in the future sometime. Time does heal with age forgiveness comes quickly after. It can take many years to truly forgive but like the old saying says... we will never forget.

You see, you can honour even the most wicked parent after enough time has passed. And even if that honour comes as you place a rose on their grave it is still honour and consequently you have fulfilled that commandment. You just don't have to honour you father and mother in the present. Anytime in the future would be great!

Jesus, Me and Easter

Easter is a strange time of year for me. There is a lot of suffering, there is a lot of death and there is a lot of great joy and and hope. It feels to me like a manic holiday. First I'm sad then I'm angry, then I'm full of horror, grief, anticipation, relief, and love. My wardrobe selection is a challenge anhd this year I failed to meet that challenge.

Maudy Thursday is the night that Jesus had his supper with the deciples, was betrayed and scheduled for Crucifixion. If I don't have that completely accurate please forgive me. Four years into this Christian thing and I'm still learning. Anyway the point in that Maudy Thursday is a very sad day. It is essentially a funeral.

I unfortunately tuned out the death part and instead began an early celebration for Easter. I decided to wear a very shinny very festive purple blouse. As I entered the church it didn't even dawn on me that perhaps my attire was a little pre-mature for the holiday. Dinner was served in the church to emulate the last supper that Jesus had and we all ate lasagna and salad together.

As I sat happily in my purple blouse my priest Jennifer commented, "My you look festive today".
I was flattered not comprehending her suble and tactful statement.

"Thank you very much", I said. I felt great in this blouse that I had carefully chosen for this special occasion.

As the service progressed the tone of the evening slowly began to sink in. This was NOT an Easter celebration. This was more like a funeral. I looked around at the other congregation members. They were all wearing black and looked very solemn. Suddenly it dawned on me I was dressed for Easter not Maudy Thursday. I looked like a Christmas tree bulb on of the worst nights on the Christian calender.

I turned to my husband and whispered. "Why didn't you tell me".
I felt like ripping the blouse off but even my bra was a bright neon pink.
I slunk back in the chair feeling totally inappropriate and I made a mental note. Maudy Thursday is a funeral wear black.

An explaination for being away

I'd first like to apologize for not writing for while. I had a really bad year. My husband ended up in the ICU unit on breathing machine. I was asked when I'd like to unplug him. In that crises our landlord suddenly decided that he wanted our apartment. He hired an attorney who proceed to file a lawsuit against us every single month for a year. This is the first three months that i have not been sued for some frivolous reason which only intended to disrupt me to a point to where I could not pay the rent from stress and court dates.

I prayed a lot during this time and I turned the psalms. Especially psalm 109 which begins

"Hold not my peace, Oh God of my praise
For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are open upon me They have spoken against me with lying tongue
hey compassed me about also with works of hatred.
For my love they are adversaries
And I give myself unto prayer
And they have rewarded me evil for good....."

Here's the really good part,

"May his days be few...let his children be fatherless let his wife be a widow."

This is the psalm to use when someone is trying to destroy your life, trust me it works. In combination with this I used my priests to come to my husbands bedside and pray. And although I am Episcopalian I don't mind borrow a saint of two from the Catholics when the situation dictates.

It was St. Jude who also helped me through this. Yes that's right St. Jude who is the patron saint of hopeless cases and my case was indeed hopeless. You can go to any Catholic church and ask for a pamphlet on the prayers for St. Jude but what I find really works is saying the novellas for a period of seven to ten days. These are little prayers that are said each time for a certain time and I guarantee are sure to rock your world. Naturally, I have become a big fan of St. Jude and thank him much.

I'd like you all to know I'm back stronger and better then ever. So bless you all!!!