Honour thy Father and thy Mother

This is probably one of the most difficult commandments for me. How can you honour someone or anyone for that matter who doesn't love nor want you? How can you honour someone who hurt you or beat you or tortured you? I'm sure many of us have pain associated with our parents, maybe even resentment, or even pure hatred.

So the question becomes... how to do honour these people? I believe that we have difficulty with this commandment because of the concept of time. I don't think God meant you have to honour them this very minute. I think he meant you to honour them in the future sometime. Time does heal with age forgiveness comes quickly after. It can take many years to truly forgive but like the old saying says... we will never forget.

You see, you can honour even the most wicked parent after enough time has passed. And even if that honour comes as you place a rose on their grave it is still honour and consequently you have fulfilled that commandment. You just don't have to honour you father and mother in the present. Anytime in the future would be great!

Jesus, Me and Easter

Easter is a strange time of year for me. There is a lot of suffering, there is a lot of death and there is a lot of great joy and and hope. It feels to me like a manic holiday. First I'm sad then I'm angry, then I'm full of horror, grief, anticipation, relief, and love. My wardrobe selection is a challenge anhd this year I failed to meet that challenge.

Maudy Thursday is the night that Jesus had his supper with the deciples, was betrayed and scheduled for Crucifixion. If I don't have that completely accurate please forgive me. Four years into this Christian thing and I'm still learning. Anyway the point in that Maudy Thursday is a very sad day. It is essentially a funeral.

I unfortunately tuned out the death part and instead began an early celebration for Easter. I decided to wear a very shinny very festive purple blouse. As I entered the church it didn't even dawn on me that perhaps my attire was a little pre-mature for the holiday. Dinner was served in the church to emulate the last supper that Jesus had and we all ate lasagna and salad together.

As I sat happily in my purple blouse my priest Jennifer commented, "My you look festive today".
I was flattered not comprehending her suble and tactful statement.

"Thank you very much", I said. I felt great in this blouse that I had carefully chosen for this special occasion.

As the service progressed the tone of the evening slowly began to sink in. This was NOT an Easter celebration. This was more like a funeral. I looked around at the other congregation members. They were all wearing black and looked very solemn. Suddenly it dawned on me I was dressed for Easter not Maudy Thursday. I looked like a Christmas tree bulb on of the worst nights on the Christian calender.

I turned to my husband and whispered. "Why didn't you tell me".
I felt like ripping the blouse off but even my bra was a bright neon pink.
I slunk back in the chair feeling totally inappropriate and I made a mental note. Maudy Thursday is a funeral wear black.

An explaination for being away

I'd first like to apologize for not writing for while. I had a really bad year. My husband ended up in the ICU unit on breathing machine. I was asked when I'd like to unplug him. In that crises our landlord suddenly decided that he wanted our apartment. He hired an attorney who proceed to file a lawsuit against us every single month for a year. This is the first three months that i have not been sued for some frivolous reason which only intended to disrupt me to a point to where I could not pay the rent from stress and court dates.

I prayed a lot during this time and I turned the psalms. Especially psalm 109 which begins

"Hold not my peace, Oh God of my praise
For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are open upon me They have spoken against me with lying tongue
hey compassed me about also with works of hatred.
For my love they are adversaries
And I give myself unto prayer
And they have rewarded me evil for good....."

Here's the really good part,

"May his days be few...let his children be fatherless let his wife be a widow."

This is the psalm to use when someone is trying to destroy your life, trust me it works. In combination with this I used my priests to come to my husbands bedside and pray. And although I am Episcopalian I don't mind borrow a saint of two from the Catholics when the situation dictates.

It was St. Jude who also helped me through this. Yes that's right St. Jude who is the patron saint of hopeless cases and my case was indeed hopeless. You can go to any Catholic church and ask for a pamphlet on the prayers for St. Jude but what I find really works is saying the novellas for a period of seven to ten days. These are little prayers that are said each time for a certain time and I guarantee are sure to rock your world. Naturally, I have become a big fan of St. Jude and thank him much.

I'd like you all to know I'm back stronger and better then ever. So bless you all!!!

St. Joseph of Yorkville

I got up late on Sunday and took a walk around the neighbourhood and happened upon a 12:30 service at the Catholic Church St. Joseph. I'm always fascinated how different churches do things differently. The program had no information on how to follow the service so I was a bit in the dark. It did however have a lot of advertising from local shops. Not a bad idea.

We talked about the rich kid who wanted to follow Jesus but couldn't bring himself to give up all his worldly possessions. He could do it but instead he chose not to. It made me wonder what I would do if Jesus asked this of me. Could I give it all up?I'd like to think so.

I figure that if I had the privledge of talking directly to Jesus Christ the leader of Christianity I don't think there would be a question. I like to believe that Jesus would never ask something of me that I could not deliver. Why else would I exist?

St. Francis Day

This Sunday was the "blessing of the animals" or St. Francis Day! All sorts of animals from the Upper East Side attended the church of the Epiphany to be blessed. I took a picture of Henry and his priest, Jennifer in the back garden.

At Church on Sun Sept 27th.

No I have not forgotten I just took a break from the blog for the summer. My faith however continues to grow.

We got a real treat this Sunday. I attended the 6 o'clock service due to the fact it was a miserable and rainy morning. We had a mystery guest playing the harp for us which was really nice. Andrew gave the sermon and he talked about how sometimes actions with the best of intentions can do terribly wrong.

Right away I thought back to how I reached out to my niece Adrienne H. and how wonderful that was for me until she turned her back and her ethics and morals upside down in order to try and hurt me. Something I could have never predicted.

The funny part is that I realized that I can't predict the outcome of things I do with good intentions. I guess the message here is to never stop reaching out, trying to do your best, extending and olive branch. Just know that actions can take many paths once released into the river of life- some good some bad.

The key thing I've figured out is what Andrew pointed out, which is that actions even those "good" actions should be also accompanied with and thought, and prayer and faith.

2nd Sunday After Pentacost

Asa you'll notice in the picture the church changes the alter to favor the color green during this period. We had a guest preacher who I really couldn't relate to. I didn't want to know that much about his personal sexual decisions so the message was kind of lost on me.

Don't forget Tuesday night movie night at 6:30, Church of the Epiphany on 74th and York. We'll be watching the Mission.

Read this Believe. Love and Live

During a relatively stressful week, I kept reading these words of inspiration over and over until they permeated my head, seeped in my soul and took root in the deepest part of my being. Then...as promised the world changed. I'd like to share them with you.

God gives you His spiritual ideas, and in turn, they give you daily supplies. Never ask for tomorrow: it is enough that divine Love is an ever-present help: and if you wait, never doubting, you will have all you need every moment" ( miscellaneous Writing 1998-1896 p. 307 Mary Baker Eddy.

This Sunday at Church April 26/09

At church this Sunday (Church of the Epiphany 74th and York in Manhattan)not only did we celebrate the resurrection of Christ but we also celebrated the 12th year of ordination for Deacon Horace Whytye. I asked him about this decision that he made in his life and he nonchalantly referred to it as a calling. I wondered out loud why he didn't become a priest? That's a paid position. This man works in our church, is available to the congregation, takes care of the homeless dinner program every Wednesday night and does not receive a salary from the church.

He said simply, " I was called to be a Deacon". Just like that. He was called and he just acted. I've always admired the courage that it takes to not only receive the call but pick up the phone, and make it happen. It took him three years after that call to become our deacon and we are blessed to have him. Congratulations Horace White!!

What have you been called to do lately?

Did you act on it?

At Church on Sun March 15/09

This week I decided to mix it up a bit and attended the Eigth Church of Christian Science on 103 east 77th in NYC. The service was simple and inspiring the building is fantastic. For those of you church curious types I strongly recommend you experience this.

I can honestly say that my exploration of Christian Science has only complimented and enhanced my relationship with God.

And the organ....(see pic) is awesome.

Christ is Risen ...Alleluia!

Happy Holiday's

Foot Washing Me? NEVER!

And then it happened. I attended service last night, known as Maundy Thursday. This is the evening that Jesus sat down to dinner with his disciples and began to wash and wipe their feet. It is this ritual that was repeated in my church of the Epiphany.

That's right! I' m supposed to take off my shoes and socks, and sit down on a little wooden chair. Then, someone kneels before me, pours water on my feet, washes them in a little basin and dries them with a towel.

For four years I have resisted this ceremony. I don't even like to get a pedicure. I find it degrading to have someone wash my feet.

All day I tried to invent things to do in order to be too busy to go to the service but as is happens when I argue with God - my attempts were futile.

Finally, God got me to the church at 6:45 just in time to share dinner with a very small group of people. The choir was bigger then the crowd. Obviously a lot of people felt the same way as myself. I ate some vegetable lasagna, had a glass of wine and headed to the front of the church.
A stranger from the street was seated next to me. I couldn't help but look down at her feet. She had on really dirty bright yellow socks, swollen ankles and big cloggy shoes on. " I hope I don't have to wash her feet", I thought to myself. What if she has really groody nasty feet? I can't do this!"

The readings began First 1 Corinthians which reminded me of the ritual of the bread and cracker being Jesus' body and blood, The second reading was The Gospel: John 13:1-27, 31b-35 and told the story of Jesus at the dinner and the foot washing ritual that he began.

Still not convinced I settled in to Andrew Mullins sermon. He talked about the importance of the ritual, about how Jesus thought it integral in Christian tradition, and how it could change ones relationship to our Lord. He was so convincing I decided right then and there to wash my feet.

I was so inspired that The ides of washing the dirty feet of the woman next to me seemed more of a challenge and less of an obstacle.

Strangely, sitting next to me was a pretty brunette named Christine. Christine and I were confirmed together and since then we've had one blow out which we shakily resolved. Christine turned to me and whispers. "Are you getting you re feet washed?" The girl who wouldn't nodded her head. "Yes, I was going to get my feet washed. Was I nuts? This was all Andrews fault. He inspired me and I followed."

Christine and I too off our socks and shoes. I watched as Andre took off his robe and a young priest- who I don't know seated himself in the wooden chair. He put his feet in the basin and Andrew poured some water over them.

Next it was Christine's turn. She got in the seat and the priest that had been washed, washed her feet.

Then it was my turn. I got in the seat. Christine knelt down in front of me and began to pour water on my feet. It didn't feel degrading at all. It felt nurturing, kind, gentle respectful and considerate. We were bonded in ritual and any problems that we might have had faded away.

After she dried my feet I got up and a stranger got into the seat. I thought to myself, "thank God it wasn't the dirty foot lady. I said a little thanks to God. This was my first time and that would be pushing it.

Turns out although I didn't know the name of the girls whose feet I washed it was awesome being in the position of washer and washed consecutively. From being served to serving, to kneeling to participating in ritual that Jesus himself thought important.

When I was done i could hardly contain my emotions. I was overcome my the feeling of love and humility that I felt. And when Andrew gave me that cracker it reaffirmed in myself that the body of Christ was really given ...just for ME!

Alas! Palm Sunday at Church

This year the calender has dictated that April 5th will be Palm Sunday. What does that mean?

Well, this is the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem humbly on a donkey but triumphant in spirit. The people threw palm leaves at his feet to welcome him they were so joyous.

At my church we join in a procession, palm leaves in hand to the Ronald McDonald House (see pic) and around the neighbourhood accompanied by a live bagpipe player.

It's also a very sad time because Jesus gets betrayed and crucified.

Jennifer Linman gave a great sermon. It was great to see her back after being pregnant for so long!

She did get me thinking about the great sacrifice God made by allowing his son to be crucified for us, for you, for me. Since I have no family for any kind of support. They have perfected the sick behaviour of not talking to me. Somehow they hope this might erase me as a person and it almost worked, even my nephews and nieces have cruelly shut me out.

It wasn't until I became aware of the sacrifice that God made through his son for me that my pain was lifted. And.. it was at that point in my life I realized I was not hated, I was wished ill, I was truly loved and this fact has made all the difference to me.

What does the sacrifice of Jesus mean to you?

At Church on Sun March 29th, 09

Why do you have to go to church to worship God? I have found that I gain insight from the sermons, I feel a sense of community when I worship with others. I also really, really feel like Jesus gave ME the bread the body of Christ when I take communion.

This Sunday I went to the six o'clock service because I just couldn't get myself out of bed. It's a nice option that the church offers. The message of the service came from the Gospel John 12:20 "Whoever serves me, the Father will honor", Jesus said.

Andrew Mullins gave me some really valuable insight into the passage.
The sermon was about receiving a calling from God. It's something I've been really thinking about a lot lately. The idea of me going to Seminary school makes my heart sing. The idea of not going to Seminary makes me feel cold, like I'd be missing out on something in my life. In fact the more I think about not going the more I realize that I may be experiencing a calling to go.

Andrew said it best when he said that it's not for us to judge our success, that's God job. It's our job to do faithfully everything we choose to do. I think I've been really hung up in the idea of whether of not people perceive me as successful or if I perceive myself as such. A burden was lifted when Andrew shared those wise words. What the hell am I doing wasting my energy seeking success when it isn't even any of my business?

Could I do things faithfully? I believe I can. Going to church helps me reaffirm that. It's in the doing and going that my faith is strengthened not just in believing. I would have never come to that conclusion on my own I needed that sermon. Now I'll simply.wait till I get the information from the General Seminary school...then I'll sit still and listen for God's word.

Abraham 15 The Covenant

After watching his favorite for a while God talks to Abraham again and promises him that his offspring will be numerous. God also demands, very specifically that Abraham sacrifice, "a three-year-old cow, a three year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram a turtledove ( age not important) and a young pigeon.

Abraham makes the sacrifice and then God hits him with the flip side of the covenant. 'Your offspring with be strangers in a land that does not belong to them; they will be enslaved and oppressed 400 years."


God is not going to make this easy for Abraham's descendant and he make that very clear.
I have learned that it can take time for God to come around. Believing does not simply give you a free pass.

I remember thinking that after God found me things would suddenly and miraculously turn around and everything would be perfect....NOT.... I've had to work hard, keep consistent in my faith and incorporate my beliefs in the air I breath- every day to finally get to a point that God's promises seem within reach. Belief is not a miracle it's a covenant and in my case it took time.

What promises to you feel God has made to you?
What promises have you made to God?
How are ya'll doing?

Abraham Genesis 13-14

In this section Abraham and his nephew Lot decide to divide up the land. It's one of the fist times we see the idea of land ownership evolving. Lot however is captured in a battle by for kings with very difficult names like Chedorlaomer king of Elam, Tidal king of Goilim , Amarapher king of Shinar and Ariock king of Elarar. ( Say that three times fast!)


Abraham finds out and negotiates his nephews release. Again this shows Abraham a shrewd and successful negotiator. Like the Pharaoh situation with his wife Abraham comes out smelling like a rose.

Ok so we're dealing with Abraham

I think the best way to go through the section on Abraham is to attack it chapter by chapter. Genesis 12 introduces the childless characters of Abraham and Sarai. Abraham and God are on a first name bases and he is God's favored human. In fact God promises to bless all the people of the world through him. Abraham and his descendants become the chosen people.

Due to a famine Abraham decides to go to Egypt. But, before entering the city he decides that his' wife's beauty may be a problem so he tells her to call him brother and she in taken to be one of the Pharaohs concubines. His actions here are not particularly noble and it seems Abraham is a bit crafty.


Who does God punish? God punishes the Pharaoh for sleeping with Abraham's wife! When the Pharaoh find out he's pissed and confused. He confronts Abraham, who offers no explanation, so the Pharaoh kicks him and Sarai out of Egypt but not before giving them tons of livestock, silver and gold.


Sarai must know some great moves!

At Church on Sun March 15, 09

It was a great service today at the Church of the Epiphany. The choir was the bomb! I especially liked the Communion Hymn, an African-American Spiritual called "I want Jesus to walk with me."

The Gospel John 2"13-22 delivered by Deacon H.W. described Jesus' anger with the business practices of the temple. What he witnessed was his followers getting stiffed in order to worship. Think of the temples like a little country with their own currency. If you wanted to worship or buy any of the trappings like a chicken to sacrifice you had to buy it in temple currency.

The temple would exchange your money at an unusually high rate. It's kind of like my credit card company who recently sent me a letter explaining to me how terrible the economic situation and do to the fact that I'm a good customer they are raising my purchase rate to 22.9%. How kind! How thoughtful! Wasn't the stimulus package created to prevent banks from doing this?

Jesus would not have approved. I wish he were here to deal with my credit card company!

At Church on Sun, March 8th Part B

The Gospel of Mark 8:31-38 was read by the Deacon Horace Whyte. There was however one particular sentence that Jesus said to his followers that created the segway for Reverend Joseph Zorawick to begin his sermon. And I quote "If any want to become my followers, let then deny themselves and take up the cross and follow me."

In this instance Jesus is asking potential followers to give up everything and follow him. The question is; Could we do this if Jesus asked?

Ironically this was discussed this in my EfM course and I was really surprised by the fact that some people were really uncomfortable with this idea. I can't speak for any but myself but I can tell you that if Jesus was in front of me as Jesus my Lord and Saviour I wouldn't be giving up anything to follow him I'd be gaining everything by letting him lead me. That for me would be the greatest blessing that I can imagine. To follow Jesus? To be picked to follow Jesus? What's to think about?

At Church on Sun, March 8th Part A

Yes, I remembered to change my clock and arrived at church on time. (This was not always the case LOL).

As you know by know Lent is a somber time. We're leading into the Crucifixion. From the O.T. we read about Abraham and the covenant that God bestowed on him. Basically, God promises to make Abraham, the the father of all and with that all his descendants would "inherit the earth". Romans 4:13-25.

I think the most important thing here is that of all the people populating the world Abraham is chosen. Thus the Jews become God's chosen people. I don't know how God came upon this decision but it does say in Romans that Abraham was chosen through "the righteousness of faith."

A fact is a fact. God has selected a chosen people.